Coming Home

The kids were outside on the deck shucking corn chattering together about their day.  The bread was baking in the oven.  The iPod was playing softly in the background.  I was slicing watermelon.  The sunlight's warm glow filled the room.  The green glorious mountains were there, breathtaking as the first day I saw them.  Rich was on his way home from work.  Zach was playing with the measuring cups and begging to help. 

Right then and there I stopped, frozen in time, vowing to never forget the moment.  Feeling what I had longed for for oh so long.  Peace.  Contentment.  Joy.

Everything just felt so right.  Everything had seemingly fallen into place and I knew that I exactly where I wanted to be.  Forever.

I have to admit.  This didn't just happen.  It was clear back on August 23, the first day of school.  After my last few posts, one might have imaged that life had been a complete uphill battle since we moved, but that's not the case.

Highs and lows, just like everyone else.

Fast forward to September 26.  Trey's 12th (gasp!) birthday.  At the spur of the moment I decided to text our entire families and the Hamiltons and invite them over for cake and ice cream that evening.  A few hours later, the sun was setting, the night was warm and lovely and our backyard was brimming with activity.  Cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents and dear friends talked, laughed, ate apples and pears from the trees, tossed football, pushed kids on the swings and enjoyed each other's company.  The light from the house was yellow and bright.  You could see streamers and balloons and even a few paintings hung on the walls through the large windows.  I snapped pictures, freely gave out hugs and thanked everyone for coming. 

Again I knew, without a doubt, I was home.  Life was good.  We are blessed.  I have so much to be grateful for and I thanked my lucky starts to be exactly were I was. 

Home has been so many places, so many zip codes and time zones.  Home isn't just bricks and carpet and walls.  It's cherished friendships and happiness.  It's surrounding yourself with those you admire, respect and love.  It's finding great schools, wards and most importantly amazing people.  We found beautiful homes in California, Kentucky, Cincinnati and Utah.  It's finding that place where you know it's right.  Where you can see yourself staying and being really, really happy.  Where peace abounds and joy fills your heart.

After so much change and uncertainty over the past year, it's good to be home once again.  It really is.

My Home.... by Josh Jackson

This is the house where I live.

This where my siblings and I run, play, do homework, watch TV, read, build Legos, play with toys and lot, lots more.

This is where my mom cooks. cleans, bakes, takes pictures, plants flowers, plays with us and mows the lawn.

This is where you smell cookies being baked, dirty diapers being changed, and delicious dinner being cooked.

You can hear screams, crying and laughter.  And see children running and playing.  And feel safe and loved.  And somebody that cares.

Hogle Zoo

On Labor Day weekend (sadly, Rich was on call) we met my parents and my brother Brad and his wife Jana and their two cute kiddos at the zoo.  It was our only free Saturday (no soccer or baseball) until the end of October.  The weather was gorgeous and I love the zoo.  I spent nearly every Saturday there with my parents when I was small and my dad was in medical school at the U.  It was our favorite place.  It was so fun to be there with family and know we could do it as often as we'd like.  The bird show was our favorite and Zach could have spent all day looking at the animals.  He's a tool and animal lover.  We finished the day at Chuck-A-Rama in downtown Salt Lake.  My kids could relive this kind of a Saturday over and over again.  Doesn't sound bad to me.

 

Fall Baseball: Scorpions

 

Ballet

Thursday 5:30pm ballet with Miss Sarah.  Barlow Arts Conservatory,  Lehi, Utah

Obsession

Just call him Mr. Tool Guy and he'll love you forever!

Picture Day

This thing called Life

We are here.

We are still alive.

If you ever read this blog, you might wonder if that were the case.

I have been ever faithful keeping it up to date way back since 2007.   Hard to believe it's been that long.

Then we did this crazy thing and moved across the country. 

I had big plans driving in the car as we passed through state after state.  I had visions of posts about the charming Illini, breathtaking Nauvoo and ice cream in Iowa in the shadow of the state prison.  Writing of a late McDonald's breakfast in Kansas and a night in Jesse James' home town (fittingly totally scary), of thunderstorms in Nebraska and glorious sunsets in Wyoming.

And then Life happened.

You know, all is swell and dandy and then you hit a pothole while you're cruisin' along and suddenly you have an unexpected breakdown and delay.  You wait and wait and just when things finally get going, boom, another crash.

Believe me, I am not surprised.  

When we pulled away from 1557 Citadel Place, I was under no impression that I was sailing off into the sunset.  Life doesn't work like that.  I felt like we were floating away from some problems for sure, but without a doubt I knew I was saying goodbye to a beautiful place, a memorable time of life and that I would desperately miss so many amazing people.  I also knew that as we settled into our new reality and began enjoying new discoveries, there would be more mishaps and bumps along the path and that we would carry on, just as before.

That is exactly what happened.

In fact, as we entered Utah and wound our way through Park City, then Provo Canyon, I was eerily smilier to Rapunzel in Tangled.  I was up and down and up and down.  I wasn't sure if I was going to cry or laugh or both.  Or maybe even throw up.  It was more than I could process.  So many emotions.  So many changes.  So many things that would be so very different, for better or worse.  

But I was ready to put my feet down on that grass and start running to see what was ahead.  

I found there was a little bit of everything.

We lived in complete vacation mode.  We bunked with our parents, ate at our favorite places, enjoyed every second of summer.   We swam and played and even rode horses (yes, horses!).  It was a very fun time.

Then our moving truck got delayed and delayed and delayed.  When we finally got all of our stuff, it had been six weeks since we had loaded it up.  A few things were dented, a few things were broken and even a few things were missing, but that's the way moving is.

I unpacked and unpacked and wished I could just give up.  I was ready to close my eyes and send it all to the D.I., but I continued to press forward and just like magic this past week my basement really looks like a basement.  There is green carpet everywhere I look!  What a feeling to not have a panic attack if someone mentioned the words 'drop by your house to say hello.'  We finally didn't look like the hoarders I felt like we had become.  How much did we give away?  Too much to know, but I'll tell you one thing, I haven't missed any of it.  

Just when the smooth sailing began, we hit a huge wave.

Well, a flood really.  Alpine had a couple of storms of the century on back to back nights.  Kentucky rain it was: 1.2 inches in 90 minutes.  Before we knew it we were in a powerless house thanks to the lightning watching with horror as two of our basement window wells filled up with 3 feet of water.  3 feet!!  Rich was out bailing praying not to get electrocuted by the flashes of light above, while I tried to control the rivers of water that were gushing inside the house.  Both the girls' and Josh's rooms were hammered, for two nights in a row.  One window seal warped, I worried about mold, the carpet got pulled up and I spent two days with the nicest gutter expert (who I just happened to pick randomly online) trying to find our problem.  Muddy hands, arms and even clothes finally found the ends of our buried downspouts hidden deep in the grass.  Dirt, debris and even a huge tree root were our culprits.  Who knew those things were so important!

Back to coasting along when another whammy appeared.

Rich was in the middle of the worst call weekend ever.  (After his general surgery intern year, I though we pretty much had that covered).  He was off for 15 hours over 3 days.  It was pure madness.  He got home at 2 am and was up again to go back to the grind at 7 am.  I kissed him goodbye, but within seconds he was back in the house.  His work bag had been stolen.  What I asked?  How did he know?  The car window had been shattered.  I nearly cried right there standing next to the sink.  Luckily for us the mean fella didn't get a thing, unless you think 3 radiology text books and a broken down laptop circa 2005 was a treasure.  I piled the girls and Zach into the car and Josh tagged along for good measure and we drove Rich to Timpanogos Hospital.  We phone the police and not long after Trey's there with the officer in our house while I'm cruising along I-15.   (Funny that as I just typed cruising I accidentally typed cursing, actually making the story just a bit more accurate).   I really didn't want to deal with this.  I mean, REALLY didn't want to deal with this, but you just have to keep going.  Like Dory in Finding Nemo says, "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming."   Two days later the window was repaired (even though it took the glass company two tries since they failed to install a tinted window on their first go around).  I even got to call our old Fifth Third back to make sure some old checks from our closed account that were in the bag wouldn't come back to haunt us.  They said it wasn't a problem.  Whew!

Then we started moving again.

There were really only little things then.  Cincinnati Bell telling me that they never received my modem that they failed to tell me to return until after I closed the account and moved and that they wouldn't be refunding me my $110 fee.  I hate mean people and bad customer service.  I got the worst U.T.I. known to man and felt like my body was shutting down.  (Rich loves all of my crazy hypochondriac questions).  Rich's job has been rough and so was the move.  I decided I am never. moving. again.  Really.  It was that awful.  Plus it's never fun to be 'the new people'.  We are trying to get back into a good school routine and get the girls up to speed academically.  Some days I wonder how anyone can do everything that is required to simply live a normal life.  At times I feel like I'm completely failing.  Oh and I loved it when a member of the YW presidency dropped by one night to give us some little pies the YW made and Rich told me afterwards that I had been in the basement telling the girls loudly (okay, he said yelling) to go to bed.  Nothing like a good first impression.  

Wow.  This post is reading like a really depression obituary.

But it hasn't been all bad.  In fact there have been so many beautiful moments that I have to stop and thank my lucky stars to be exactly where I am.

I LOVE being close to family.  I still am amazed that we can meet our family for lunch, at the zoo or even for a trip to Wal-mart.  The kids adore the grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles.  I love being able to get in my car and go to their homes.   No packing, no airplanes, no return flights.  It's been the best thing about coming back.  

I love good friends.  I love being close to Kristi and Marcie.  They were here on my doorstep taking my kids when the movers were on their way.  They have always been so good to me.  They, along with other women I love, were there for me when I needed them most over the years.  I've been so blessed to have remarkable women in my life.

I love the mountains.  I LOVE my view out my family room windows.  Everyday Rich says, 'It's like we live in a cabin!"  It's true.  Yes, we are far away from Salem and a bit of a drive to the freeway, but the mountains make that extra commute worth it.  

I love our house.  As it is slowing coming together, it really is beginning to feel like home.

My kids have loved Alpine.  Matt and Josh are still searching for that best bud, but they do have each other, for which I am eternally grateful.   Trey has a great friend who rides the bus with them and has night games outside every Friday night.  It's a highlight of the boys' week.  I always say, you just need one friend.  Just one great one.

I love that we got the kids involved as soon as we moved in.  Okay, so three soccer games and two baseball games EVERY Saturday is a bit much, but we lucked out and got the nicest coaches ever.  Everyone is working hard and everyone has had success.

I really like Westfield Elementary.  The school is really great.  I really like the kids' teachers.  I was on the PTA board for about a week until I realized I had bitten off too much to chew and I knew I didn't want to start choking.  How nice that I could simply type an email and push send and that problem went away.  I wish I could always do that when life gets tough!

I really like our ward.  They have reached out and welcomed us once they knew we were here.  The first couple of weeks were a bit different, but everyone has been very, very nice since then.  I am now the senior primary chorister and I love being with my kids.  Plus a miracle has occurred:  Zach likes nursery!  He walked in like a big boy on Sunday and didn't even look back.  Shocking!!  Good thing since I had to go in to help Brynn give a talk, Rich had to teach Elders Quorum and I had to do music.  A blessing for sure.

I love Utah.  I really do.  I love the familiarity.  I love Cafe Rio and See's Chocolates.  I love Thanksgiving Point (try their french fries and you'll die!).  I love driving around BYU campus.  I love Timpanogos.  I love that the stars are exactly where I think they should be since I learned about them here.  I love the shopping area in American Fork.  I LOVE In and Out burger.  Who knew?!  I love Yogurtland and the Spanish Fork Rodeo (even in the freezing rain).  I love having lunch with the grandparents.  I love Salem Pond and their cute parade and city breakfast.  I love being close to family.

I also love Kentucky and Cincinnati.  I miss them everyday.  My brother Kurt is flying out in a few weeks to Louisville for a medical school interview and I wish with all my heart I could stow away in his luggage and tag along.  I miss so many things.  I miss the cardinals, the fireflies and even the humidity.  I miss Eastern Standard Time.  College Game Day starts at 8 am here!  What a mess!  I miss the Ohio River.  I miss the southern drawl.  I miss the fried okra in the Wal-mart deli.  I miss the Cincinnati Zoo.  I miss Kenwood Shopping Center.  I miss Trader Joe's.  I miss the giant Louisville Slugger bat downtown.  I miss the UK hysteria and Big Blue tee shirts everywhere I went.  I miss Graeter's runs on Friday night. (though you can buy it by the pint at Smith's Food Stores).  I miss the Louisville Temple.  I miss Shenandoah Drive, Fitzroy Lane and Citadel Place.  I miss Gledover Basketball.  I miss Southeastern baseball.  I miss Huber Farm and picking blackberries down in Jessamine County.  I miss the Bengal's training camp and UK football fan appreciation night.  I really, really miss Veterans Park Elementary School.  I will miss the Southern Lights at Christmas.  I miss old Calapari's voice on promo ads.  I miss the UK radiology department.  I miss the Cincinnati Art Museum.  I miss Anderson Hills Preschool.  I miss Keeneland and the September sales and the gorgeous horse farms dotting the landscape.  But what I miss most of all are the people.  I miss so many amazing, wonderful, unforgettable people.  They made our time in the Ohio Valley what it was- life changing.

That's the secret of life.  Life will always keep changing.  Just when you think you have it all figured out, you realize that you haven't at all.  But you just have to keep your chin up, look for the good, plaster a grin on your face even if you really don't want to, say hello to strangers, plant flowers or mow the lawn, count your blessings, say yes to service, give a compliment, tell someone you love them, give away lots of hugs and kisses: especially to your little ones, take a minute to enjoy the beauty of nature or of the night sky, eat something sweet (or salty), take a deep breath and if you get lucky a nap, call a friend, write on your blog, read some fiction and your scriptures, snap a few photographs, give something away, turn off the TV, listen to a song and sing out loud, write a few thank notes and take a few second every day to soak in the good things that life has to offer.  Even when times get tough, they still are out there waiting to be found.